books.budget.babies.

I've been trying to get back into reading because I've lost sight of what it's like to have down time. So, I just started reading a new book called "Summer at Tiffany." It's a great book but boy has it made me really want to start shopping and that's not good because I just started a new budget. Keith and I are trying REALLY hard to save money towards a down payment, vaca's, retirement, etc. It only seems to get harder and harder to save because the older we get the more things require our money. Because of this, we decided to start a budget and really keep track of how much we're spending by putting everything on our credit card and then paying the balance in full at the end of the month. Seems to be working but this book is making me want to shop, shop, and shop some more!!! :)

The other thing on my mind right now is babies! I have really thought long and hard about it and I want to adopt for sure. I need to start looking into it more!

I feel there are a lot of social issues that are prevalent in today's society and one in particular surfaces frequently in my line of work. Parents are constantly being poor parents and leave much of the responsibility of raising their children to teachers. Parents are acting selfishly and do not want to dedicate the necessary amount of time and effort to raise their own children, so they rely on others. It drives me nuts! Why have kids if you're not going to spend time with them and raise them properly? Then the other side of the coin is that people are having babies, realizing that they can't handle the responsibility too late in the game, and giving them up for adoption. This is leading to an overwhelming amount of children in government care, which breaks my heart in an entirely different way. Everyone needs and deserves LOVE and we need to start giving it to those that are already on Earth, especially innocent children.

Anyway, that leads me to the issue of our current society; we're all too selfish! This is why I want to adopt. I want to adopt because that's one of the main ways that I can break the cycle of selfishness in my own life. People always say, "Well, I want my kids to look like me." I think that's incredibly selfish if we take a step back and really think about it. At that moment we have the possibility to help a child (that's already born and in this cruel world, all alone) and yet we chose to reproduce just because we want them to look like us. Why has that become so important? We're too vain as a society (which is another issue in and of itself)...

appreciations.

Are you ever in need of a little pat on the back to help lift your mood? I feel like that's the one thing that is really missing at my job. Compliments and encouragement from the administration is few and far between. Therefore, I've taken on a new mission. I'm going to try my best to spread love, encouragement, and peace throughout the halls at school. Today, I had all of the kids write one nice thing about all the employees at school. Then, I typed them all up and emailed them to each employee. I have charged myself with the task of doing something uplifting at least once a week. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to share!

pondering.

I just started thinking about how I got started blogging. I started with a list of questions and statements about myself/what I believed and felt. I thought I was going to finish the questions throughout the year and share more and more about myself. I got busy and/or lazy and never finished. Well, I found these light hearted questions that provoked a little thought but gave some insight into my less serious side.

1. What makes you smile? Almost anything, but especially joking about dirty humor (I know, real mature, right?). I love to smile and I think I have a great one. I'm not shy about sharing my strengths and weaknesses. Sunny days and long walks make me feel good and usually relieve all of my stress. If that fails to bring a smile to my face, there's always sex as a stress reliever (there I go being dirty again).

2. What are your favorite things to do in the past? What about now? In the past, I loved to go out with friends to the bar or dinner. I also like to have them over for a night in, a good movie, and a sleepover. Now that "sleepovers" aren't exactly something that adults do, I still enjoy going out to dinner with friends. I also like reading and watching movies with Keith. There really isn't anything that I don't like to do.

3. What activities make you lose track of time? Working and surfing the web. Facebook is a little addicting and I definitely cannot stay away from my email. Crafts, if it's the right one, can also drag me away from reality for a while.

4. What makes you feel great about yourself? To be honest, I'm really driven by external motivation. I need to really focus on making myself intrinsically happy but it's a hard thing to change and although I try to work on it, it's just easier to let other people do the work. But, what happens when they don't fulfill that need? Trust me, I see the issue with my logic.

5. Who inspires you most? (Anyone you know or do not know. Family, friends, authors, artists, leaders, etc.) Which qualities inspire you, in each person? I'm inspired by a lot of people, which would take me forever to write up, so here are the top few:

My father inspires me to work hard and do whatever it takes to provide for your family.

My mother inspires me to love (no matter how backwards you show that love) everyone.

Keith inspires me to better myself and love who I've become.

6. What are you naturally good at? (Skills, abilities, gifts etc.) I'm naturally good at sports, crafts, cooking, and learning.

7. What do people typically ask you for help in? People usually ask for my help in planning or organizing.

8. If you had to teach something, what would you teach? I teach math, so that's a no brainer! ;)

9. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life? I would regret not having loved ones: friends, family, children,etc. Whatever form the loved ones come in, I'll embrace but life without significant interpersonal relationships would really bring me down.

long time. busy year.

It has been a remarkably long time since I've posted. My goal is to get back into posting regularly, however, time is always an issue. There is so much to cover over the past year, that I'm not sure where to begin. I need to write about Keith's graduation, our vacation, Keith's new job, the continuation of my job, moving again, wedding planning, family developments (cousin's baby, getting a puppy, family relationships, etc.), and the list goes on. However, my primary focus for today's blog is to vent; to share feelings that have built up over time and are about to explode, again.

Let's start with the dysfunction of Keith's family... his father spent Christmas day through the 30th of December at our house. During this time, we filled it with family dinners and other activities that brought him closer to our world. Quality time was spent together throughout the visit, granted it was all with my family because his father doesn't have any family left, but it was still quality time. After the visit, I hear from his sister that he was upset because he didn't get any time alone with Keith (keep in mind that they spent one-whole day of his four day trip going to the city and attending a Bulls game without me). Despite my best efforts to make him feel like part of a family it just wasn't enough.

Now, just today, Keith was speaking with his mother and again she mentioned that she would like to go on a date, alone. She constantly specifies that she would appreciate quality time alone (which really just means without me, because I'm always the only one there). So, needless to say, it makes me mad that they try to exclude me. My family is incredibly accepting and never excludes anyone. Also, in my family it's an excepted fact that Keith and I are a team and we do things together. Not saying that we can't do things apart but we enjoy being together and there's just no logical reason to exclude someone, if they have nothing else to do. The invitations in my family are always open-ended and extended to everyone (as evidenced by Ken's invitation to our Christmas).

Keith's sister has also mentioned that she doesn't want me to attend all family events because she wasn't to spend time with Keith alone. I've never done anything to anyone in their family and I've always been respectful. I'm not sure what their problem is...

Am I being too sensitive? Is there a logical reason that I should not be invited to a dinner with Keith's mother? Is there a logical reason that his sister doesn't invite me to come see her new apartment? Is there a logical reason that his father doesn't enjoy coming to stay at our house? If there is, I just don't see it and I always end up hurt because yet again, I'm not being accepted into his family. Everything his family does is centered around secrets, excluding people, and overall just being a little deceitful. It makes me uncomfortable and I don't understand it.

On a happier note, I will share the events over the year as quickly and in as much vivid detail as I can over the coming weeks. I have been incredibly neglectful with writing because of the time I spend working on a daily basis. Isn't that truly pathetic? Work takes over and I don't even have 30 minutes to write in a night. We'll see what the weeks bring, but I'll try to catch up!